


Honey, Baby, Darling

by cloverdrop



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A/N for extended warning, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Crack, Eventual Porn, Fix-It, Friends With Benefits, Genderbending, Genderswap, Jealous Lance (Voltron), M/M, Mixed East/Southeast Asian Keith, Nods to the Galra having A/B/O, POV Lance (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Post-Canon, Sexswap, The Universal Adoption of Earth Standard Time, Virginity Kink, he/him pronouns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-02-23 15:50:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23047363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloverdrop/pseuds/cloverdrop
Summary: Keith is temporarily sex-swapped via an unexpected reaction to Galra ritual magic and there’s nothing anyone can do but wait out the effects. So for three weeks he’s just gotta deal with his new body. Oddly, not as bad as he thought it'd be. Of course, this is background to the foreground of Lance losing his marbles over the realization he likes Keith in That Way.
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75





	Honey, Baby, Darling

**Author's Note:**

> While Keith does, technically, become a trans man for three weeks, it is not intended to be a mirror of the trans experience. Keith does not identify as trans and all the characters (including Keith, after a short adjustment period) operate under the knowledge the change is temporary and thus treat it with more levity than they would otherwise.

**Day 3**

“Stop staring at my ass.” 

It’s a command, voice slamming into Lance like a freight train, it's so heavy. He snaps out of his daze. The owner of said ass whips around, a massive wave of hair slapping Lance in the face. He represses the urge to sneeze, nose twitching.

Then the thickest, widest, heaviest eyebrows Lance has ever seen _in his life_ draw together in annoyance as she--he?--pushes their pointy little nose into his personal bubble. Plump pink lips thin out into a tight line. Slender muscled arms cross over a--honestly?--deeply unimpressive chest as he’s fixed with a cutting glare through a delicate, curled fan of dark lashes. The bright blue lighting the dark hallway reflects like fire in their irises and Lance feels their stare simmering the surface of his skin. He takes two steps back to distance himself and holds out his palms, placating.

“I wasn’t staring.” 

“Yes. You were.”

“I wasn’t! And even if I was how would you know, huh Keith? You weren't looking!"

"Because you perv on everything remotely girl-shaped. And right now?" Keith makes a sweeping gesture down the length of his--her?-- new body. "I'm girl-shaped!"

"I do not!" 

Lance is _offended_ . He _does not_ do this to everything girl-shaped. His mama taught him better than that. And he's grown exponentially since the days where he crushed on Allura. Adult Lance is mature and considerate. He has restraint and class and shows respect for all women thank you very m--

"You've been following me around since I left the common area."

"I. I'm going to my room!"

"I walked past your room. Twice."

Ok he--she's?--got him there. But he was _planning_ to be a good friend and talk to Keith! Show support and be a firm shoulder to cry on in his time of need! Keith’s been moping around for the better part of three days, refusing to talk to anyone and stinking up the place with bad vibes à la uncool younger Keith. Maybe a one-on-one talk would get them past that! Lance just got a _little_ distracted by how Keith’s new assets looked in his old leggings and t-shirt combo. Leggings that used to belong to an 18 year old twink probably shouldn’t be used to dress the body of a 22 year old woman but it was the only thing onboard that _fit_.

Okay, maybe he does stare at people for too long. Sometimes. To be fair though, there are a lot of beautiful people in the world and somewhere deep in his brain, his subconscious recognizes that even if he himself doesn’t. What is he supposed to do, glue his eyes shut? And besides, he does this to men too! So it's not only women! He's a modern man with modern values who believes in equal opportunity! 

That. That doesn't really make it any better, does it.

As Lance is contemplating his character flaws, Keith whips back around on the heel of her gogo boots, the prickly tips of her long, shag cut hair slapping him on the nose like a cat o’ nine tails. This time, Lance does sneeze.

"Don't follow me!" 

Keith calls out as she--he? They've really gotta ask about that soon--walks away, leaving Lance in the dark hallway, fixated on the sway of his--her?--hips as Keith saunters away like he owns the place. Lance sputters.

“Don’t flatter yourself! Your ugly pancake butt isn’t _that_ hot, Mullet!”

Lance crosses his arms, satisfied at managing to get the last word. Then, without looking back, Keith flips him the bird.

“Hey!”

Lance flips _two_ middle fingers in return but it’s too late. Keith’s already turned the corner and ducked completely out of sight. The click of heels grow quieter and quieter as Keith disappears down the hall leading to the training deck. 

Lance slumps over and groans, defeated. He slaps a hand over his eyes and rubs away the stress headache beginning to bloom in his temples. And here he thought they were finally over the petty fighting.

Stupid Keith.

\---

It happened like this.

Three days prior, Keith met up with the Blades to celebrate some kinda whatever-maybe-really-important Galra cultural event. Lance still doesn't know the exact details. He zoned out on the rest of Keith’s explanation after Keith told them it wasn't a party, just a long overdue coming-of-age ritual. 

Heh. Galra Quinceañera. That would imply having a party though. Maybe more like a Galra Bar Mitzvah? Nah, people party at those too. Come to think about it, maybe Keith was lying about the party? He seemed kind of shifty in the way he always gets when he tries to lie but Lance had chalked it up to nerves about his special day. He’d seen his sisters get this way right before their own Quinceañe--

Cheese. Keith was totally lying about the party. The nerve!

Though if Keith decided he had to _lie_ \--which he rarely does--to keep them out of his business then he obviously didn’t want any of them there. Lance's pride is a little hurt over being played so easily but he can respect Keith's boundaries, just like how, from the very start of their crazy space journey, Keith has always respected his. Yep. Just two bros who understand the delicate balance of their own friendship relies on not bothering each other too much. Wouldn't have it any other way. Really. 

Still, he wonders how awkward Keith must've been at his Schrodinger's Galra Quincemitzvah party. Lance laughs to himself, imagining Keith leaning against the wall, arms crossed, glaring daggers, trying to look imposing and unapproachable--difficult when you’re the shortest person in the room--to avoid making small talk with a bunch of aliens he doesn't know. 

Or maybe he wouldn't be awkward. Maybe that’s something only younger Keith would do. Maybe current Keith would lean against the wall looking like the leading man in a Hollywood romance, gracefully letting congratulations wash over him and kindly turning down offers to dance with a soft and gentle look in his big blue eyes, all confident and relaxed and effortlessly beautiful as men and women each walk away nursing a little bit of heartbreak.

Maybe he'd even accept an offer. An exceptionally tall, strikingly handsome older Galra man with a sharp cut jaw and strong, broad shoulders would hold out one of his hands in silent invitation. 

The imaginary man’s hands are absolutely massive. Like a roasting pan, Lance thinks. A really _lame_ roasting pan, he tacks on smugly.

Keith would reach out with his weirdly dainty hands. They’d look even smaller as he takes the Galra dude's and _allows_ himself to be literally swept off his feet and _princess carried_ onto the dance floor by a nine foot tall purple monster _furby_ . Keith would smile indulgently, hearts and stars in his eyes like--like love at first sight in one of those _completely unrealistic_ Hollywood romance movies--as he tries to tame back a wild lock of hair that had fallen out of its plait, but that doesn't matter because then the Galra would grab him around his tiny waist with one giant roasting pan sized hand and set him down and Keith would be laid out on a bed with his long dark hair spread around him and framing his pale skin like a halo and his clothes are gone--where on Earth are his clothes--and his legs are spread--and in between them is--and his head is thrown back to expose the length of his neck and there's a giant ring of _teeth marks_ and there’s thrusting and moaning and Keith's crying tears of joy as he's being ruined for everyone else in the known universe because who could ever hope to compete with a Galran silver fox with a footlong alien c--

No! Nononononono! Lance shakes his head in protest and feels his brain slap around the inside of his skull. Like it's trying to punish itself for conjuring up disturbingly out-of-character Keith porn. Keith would never let some random man--no matter how large and handsome--into his pants like that! There would have to be shared history! A prior connection! Some bonding moments perhaps?! 

… Unless Keith is secretly one of those people who think sex is just an emotionless physical activity and all these years he's really been going out and spreading his legs--or putting out--for everyone who catches his eye. Which, being promiscuous isn't a bad thing at all, really, it's just that he wouldn't expect it of Keith. Who can't flirt to save his life. 

Does someone like Keith really need to know how to flirt, though? He's got that timeless, rough-around-the-edges appeal that pulls people in like magnets. And his long, shapely legs, pretty bodyline, slender waist, perfectly proportioned shoulders are all things that speak for themselves. He won't lie, once you get past the haircut, Keith's got everything going for him in the body and face areas. Objectively speaking. Heck, his own sister wanted to get with Keith and she'd never even talked to him!

So it's completely possible Keith's been hooking up with beautiful strangers! Especially given how little he's seen him around recently. And how little he's been around before that too. And that time he left to train with the Blades. And there was that year he spent in the desert doing whatever. And, despite thinking about him a lot, he didn't see much of Keith in their Garrison days either… 

A hard knot forms in the pit of Lance's stomach. He's known Keith for a long time, he realizes. But much does he actually _know_ \--

Lance groans. He's thinking too hard about nothing! Keith's a tough dude to crack. His walls are built up so densely it takes years to chip off even the tiniest piece. There's absolutely no way Keith slept with his future husband at his Quincemitzvah! And no way he's a secret sex god either! Zero chance! Final choice he's locking in his answer!

Somewhere deep in his subconscious, a small voice whispers maybe, just maybe he doesn't know Keith as well as he thought he did. Especially after Keith came back two years older, cooler, and _changed_. 

So what! a Disneyland fastpass through life will do that to a relationship! They'll catch up and everything'll be alright again. Then a slightly louder voice tells him maybe he didn't know anything about Keith in the first place. And that Keith is definitely having an awesome time sleeping around with people that will never be La--

Lance viciously squashes down the voice. Of course he knows things about his friend! Keith's just--just--Boring! He’s only making up wild theories because there’s no way anyone can be that boring!

Anyway, the facts are these: Keith was gone for nearly exactly eight hours, almost crashed into the side of the loading dock on his way back, he was driving so fast, then stormed through the ship's sliding doors 6 inches shorter, 40% curvier, and with 50% more eyebrow.

And that’s all he--and everyone else--knows because that’s all Keith is willing to disclose. 

**Author's Note:**

> ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯


End file.
